So Simple A Child Could Do It!

Mum and dad decided to get some of the major pieces - Cot and Pram. 

Both were billed as the most 'user friendly', 'lightest' and 'compact', etc. in all the reviews.

This sounds super except both items came unassembled.  

Oh yeah!  Let the fun begin!

Now it would've helped if the travel cot had instructions because despite their DIY ability their nous was obviously lacking in this area. 

For instance, they put the base down but couldn't get the sides to lock.  After several different attempts they finally went online to locate a set of instructions.

Apparently, they needed to lock the sides first then the base. 

Oh.  So obvious!

Then there was the pram.

Yes, things continued along the same vein.  Especially since they discovered that there were two bits which didn't seem to fit anywhere.

It was only later that they discovered that this were additions for the removable seat. 


The seat had not been sent so dad had to call the firm and ask for it.

Baby Brain?

Today mum made a complete fool of herself.

How? (Or should that be - What now?)

Today she couldn't quite remember names.

This is nothing unusual, however....

She told Person 1 that Girl A was pregnant when it was Girl B. Person 1 then went up to Girl A and asked when it was due.

Now, I must say that in her defence:
- Girl A looks like Girl B,
- Girl A and Girl B are extremely similar (in looks and height, etc),
- Girl A and Girl B sit next to each other,  and
- Girl A and Girl B do a similar job.

This however, caused hysterics around the office once word got out.
.
Mum was told that loosing your mind was not (according to recent newspaper articles) down to pregnancy so she is now very concerned.
.
Peanut strikes again!!

What To Wear?

Now every woman is famously quoted as saying 'I have nothing to wear!' at least once in their lives. Mum appears to be no exception.

In this case, its down to me. That's right; I've made enough of an impact on her waist line that she cannot fit into any of her clothes. Even her t-shirts don't fit! And, its only week 15.

Mum has begun, grudgingly, to pack away all her current clothes and resigned herself to the fact that she will need to go shopping for those stretchy pants.
.

Now for a lot of women this would be the ultimate excuse to get the plastic and go mad. Mum is not most women. Its not that she doesn't want to shop but its the choice of clothing.

'Maternity Wear' conges up horrible images of the horrid plaid tents of the 70's.

So far the shopping experience for mum has been a mixed bag. There have been some nice tops but the majority of dresses and slacks/jeans have been really disgusting and BIG (in the weirdest of places).

Oh well, I'm sure she'll find something soon or things could get chilly.

THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG

That's right folks the world now knows that the Peanut exists. 

Mum was overwhelmed by the clucking and cooing once she announced that I was here.  That was of course after everyone got over the shock.

Apparently, mum forgot to bring my first photo (the 12 week scan). Everyone was disappointed but were appeased when she agreed to bring this in on Monday.

I am famous!   :) 

Who Ate All The Pies?

I'm growing and I need more room so I've taken to expanding mum's stomach.

At this point no one at work knows I exist so mum's expanding waistline has been politely ignored.  The English have pointedly not mentioned fat, food, etc.  However, it is becoming noticeable that they are avoiding the topic. 

Now people come in all shapes and sizes so many are frightened to say 'Are you pregnant?' just in case the person is fat.  However, those that know mum have also avoided any topic related to fat, diet, food, etc.

I know what they are thinking - Who ate all the pies at Christmas lunch?  Or should we say all the chocolates, cakes, puddings, etc.

But we are in on the secret.  ;-)

Blah, Blah, Blah

So far mum has been to five appointments where she's been quizzed about all sorts of personal (and non relevant) data.  Also, at each one mum has been given enough pamphlets to wallpaper the entire house. This wouldn't be so bad if they were different but each has exactly the same text and is written as if you have an IQ of 20.

On top of that, each medical practitioner (nurse, doctor, assistant, elevator operator, etc) constantly repeats the text in earnest as is if it was the first time you could possibly have heard of this.

Just to give you a flavour of the way they do it, here is a transcript.

Nurse - Have you thought about breast feeding?
Mum - Yes, I'll do that if I am physically able to.  (thinking this is the end of questioning)
Nurse - Breast feeding is good because.......(blah blah blah)
Mum - Yes, I intend to breast feed. (again, thinking end of lecture)
Nurse - Breast feeding is beneficial for you as well..... (blah blah blah)
Mum - ok. (clearly annoyed at being treated like an idiot and not being listened to)
Nurse - That baby benefits are .... (blah blah blah)
Mum - ok. (very annoyed)
Nurse - It's also cost effective.... (blah blah blah)
Mum - mmmmm
Nurse - So, what does your partner think of breast feeding?
Mum - (clearly bored with this and extremely annoyed) He wants me to. 
Nurse - It's important that the father is supportive of breast feeding.... (blah blah blah).... Here is a pamphlet which you can read at home. (note pamphlet has exactly what was said by nurse to the letter)
Nurse - So, have you thought about where you're going to give birth?
Mum - (groans and resigns herself to another set of lectures)

Only another 7 months to go.

SMILE!

I had my first photographic session and I'm a prima donna.

I decided to be as awkward as possible by nestling snuggly in the remotest corner and refusing to wave.

Despite this the student nurse managed to take one of the best photos (i.e. you can actually tell it's a baby).  The nurse also managed to confirm that I wasn't sharing and I had all the right components in the right places.

It only took twice as long as normal.

This wouldn't have been an issue except mum had a full bladder as this is required so that the womb is raised for viewing.  The first thing mum did after the pictures were taken was run to the toilet.